Blame Game!
Any untoward circumstance comes with indefinite number of fingers pointing towards each other while a very limited number of eyes tend to peep what lies within. Lying within may be utter darkness or a vastness of oblivion and nothingness and that is why it seems to welcome less and less visits by us.
The year began with the horrendous tale of a girl-child being sent to her final destination in the most barbaric manner. Followed by that was a mighty outcry by the people all across the country. Zainab occupied almost everyone's mind at-least for whatever little time. Opinions carrying a varied degree of emotions from anger to disgust were spilled across the media of all forms. Presenting solutions and coming forward with who should have done what and what should be done by who is the core of all the hullabaloo. Politicians ensure to not to miss on point scoring and the media, at times, raucous could not really fathom the dynamics of the overall situation.
It goes without saying that the grave situation deemed unequivocal sympathy for the victim from everyone at all levels and a quick action at the State level. However, what it did not necessitate or deserve was the reprimand of the specific gender for 'provocation', 'not-behaving-ideally' or 'inviting-the-misery' to herself usually by bringing the notion of the religion into play.
This school of thought in all the blame game captured my serious attention and made me question the highest level of misogyny which is not coming from the torch-bearers of the religion but from a particular mindset. According to this, the psychology of an abuser is downplayed and poignantly one specific gender is considered as a masochist - the source of provocation and all the chaos.
This mindset is parochial and is regardless of the age, gender or religious aspect. A 50 year old otherwise pleasant lady may take a dig at a younger girl for showing her skin while watching TV before her sons and husband and a 9 year old boy may insinuate his elder sister to behave 'like a lady'. Under both the circumstances, what binds them together is their right to feel superior.
However, in that fleeting moment of looking down upon the child-girl, teenage-girl, young woman or an old one, whatever comes out from the 'misogynist mindset' has sowed atleast some more seeds. Consequently, the 'plants of provocation' have been planted in the garden no one wants to visit to.
She wore something. She is going to hell.
She was out late. She asked for rape.
She was alone. She brought it on herself.
On and on and on and on.
She was this and that and this and that and every wrong, immoral, unethical conduct has just been swept under the rug because it was her who provoked it all. Therefore, she is found in the slander and cuss words, in the gossip sessions that light up our moods, in the rumors that die soon and on the heaps of rubbish that are found after she is done for.
Eve ate the apple and got us all kicked out of heaven and ever since her daughters are being indicted for all those crimes that are committed by someone who in this case remains exonerated because he was simply, provoked.
This has to stop. Misogyny does not come from men only. Women are equally responsible for this. Raising sons who consider every woman's honor theirs and upbringing daughters who are comfortable in their own skin envisage a world where victims will be dealt as humans and not as some objects of gratification.
The day we realise the significance of equality of women based on the rights considered for humans; I believe, will be the day when nonsensical thoughts will find no space in anyone's mind while ceasing blame game once and for all. Above all, blaming the very same victims who I vouch for have no interest in undergoing a trauma.
Like charity begins at home; introspection begins not with opinions and presenting solutions but with eyeballing your words and actions!
About the Author: Believes in herself!
The year began with the horrendous tale of a girl-child being sent to her final destination in the most barbaric manner. Followed by that was a mighty outcry by the people all across the country. Zainab occupied almost everyone's mind at-least for whatever little time. Opinions carrying a varied degree of emotions from anger to disgust were spilled across the media of all forms. Presenting solutions and coming forward with who should have done what and what should be done by who is the core of all the hullabaloo. Politicians ensure to not to miss on point scoring and the media, at times, raucous could not really fathom the dynamics of the overall situation.
It goes without saying that the grave situation deemed unequivocal sympathy for the victim from everyone at all levels and a quick action at the State level. However, what it did not necessitate or deserve was the reprimand of the specific gender for 'provocation', 'not-behaving-ideally' or 'inviting-the-misery' to herself usually by bringing the notion of the religion into play.
This school of thought in all the blame game captured my serious attention and made me question the highest level of misogyny which is not coming from the torch-bearers of the religion but from a particular mindset. According to this, the psychology of an abuser is downplayed and poignantly one specific gender is considered as a masochist - the source of provocation and all the chaos.
This mindset is parochial and is regardless of the age, gender or religious aspect. A 50 year old otherwise pleasant lady may take a dig at a younger girl for showing her skin while watching TV before her sons and husband and a 9 year old boy may insinuate his elder sister to behave 'like a lady'. Under both the circumstances, what binds them together is their right to feel superior.
However, in that fleeting moment of looking down upon the child-girl, teenage-girl, young woman or an old one, whatever comes out from the 'misogynist mindset' has sowed atleast some more seeds. Consequently, the 'plants of provocation' have been planted in the garden no one wants to visit to.
She wore something. She is going to hell.
She was out late. She asked for rape.
She was alone. She brought it on herself.
On and on and on and on.
She was this and that and this and that and every wrong, immoral, unethical conduct has just been swept under the rug because it was her who provoked it all. Therefore, she is found in the slander and cuss words, in the gossip sessions that light up our moods, in the rumors that die soon and on the heaps of rubbish that are found after she is done for.
Eve ate the apple and got us all kicked out of heaven and ever since her daughters are being indicted for all those crimes that are committed by someone who in this case remains exonerated because he was simply, provoked.
This has to stop. Misogyny does not come from men only. Women are equally responsible for this. Raising sons who consider every woman's honor theirs and upbringing daughters who are comfortable in their own skin envisage a world where victims will be dealt as humans and not as some objects of gratification.
The day we realise the significance of equality of women based on the rights considered for humans; I believe, will be the day when nonsensical thoughts will find no space in anyone's mind while ceasing blame game once and for all. Above all, blaming the very same victims who I vouch for have no interest in undergoing a trauma.
Like charity begins at home; introspection begins not with opinions and presenting solutions but with eyeballing your words and actions!
About the Author: Believes in herself!
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